News & Tips for Parents
The Five Reasons Gifted Children Have Problems At School
Mothers and fathers call me and ask, “We know our child is gifted. Why does she have problems with reading?”
“Our son can do math three years above grade level; why won’t he write?”
Here are five issues to consider:
1. Gifted children have learning highs and lows—asynchronous development. What they “get” quickly they pursue with passion. Learning that is difficult for the child means that he or she will give up or just avoid the subject or task in the first place. My advice is to pay attention to your child’s learning issues patiently and calmly. The child's strengths and challenge areas both need to be worked on as the child grows. Focusing on one aspect of your child’s potential is dangerous. Gifted children can be quite complicated.
2. Gifted kids have perfectionism about how well they need to perform. Usually their expectations for themselves are way too high. Try to show them what you expect in a positive and helpful manner. For example, “We just want you to write your name. You don’t have to write an entire story.”
Or, “I would like you to say ‘Hi’ to a child you don’t know. I don’t expect you to make a play date.”
3. Your child can’t sit still in class and the teacher asks you if he or she has attention issues. Gifted children are extremely curious and easily get over-excited. Talk to your child’s teacher about this tendency. Elicit help from the teacher. Review the teacher’s concern with your child. Make your child accountable for his or her behavior.
4. “My daughter sits alone on the playground. She is not learning to get along with other children.” This is a common problem that can be worked on by introducing games that teach social skills or adding outside activities where your child gets extra encouragement and help for their social skills. Remember, social development is learned by trial and error. Talk with your son or daughter about problems you had growing up.
5. “My daughter always has the answer. She will blurt it out and talk over everyone in class.” This behavior is so predictable with gifted children. Work with your child on taking turns and social correctness at home when it is dinner-time or anywhere else you can. Gradually your son or daughter will learn this important lesson to listen, which is truly a priceless skill. Gifted children need to learn the value of paying attention to other people and taking their turn.
In conclusion, gifted children can and do have these five challenges (and more). Work on these issues as if your child were learning reading or math. In other words, don’t exaggerate these challenges. Instead give your children tools to overcome their obstacles. I guarantee your child will get over their “awkward” behavior.
Barbara Klein, Ph.D., Ed.D.
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Investing Wisely in Your Child’s Education
Education is the most important investment you will make regarding your child’s future. One of the biggest and most difficult decisions you face is school choice. Every parent needs help! Even with so much detailed information available online about public and private schools, making this choice can be daunting.
After you tour the schools and talk with friends, other parents, and maybe your own parents or neighbors, you may still be unsure of your decision. What is best for your child, your family, and your finances?
I can help you make the best possible long-term investment in education by:
●Assessing your child’s learning strengths and challenges
●Understanding your family values
●Teaching you how to assess school tours
●Helping you ask the right questions at interviews so you can get past promotional jargon
●Guiding you to make a realistic but not perfect decision
Mac & Madi’s Surprise: A Very Different Twins Birthday! by Linda Herron
New Children’s Book Celebrating the Acceptance of Differences in Twins
San Jose, CA, 2019 – children’s book author Linda Herron gives her firsthand account of the differences between twins, celebrating their unique identities in her new book Mac & Madi’s Surprise: A Very Different Twins Birthday! Published by Linda Herron in June 2019 and available now for $17.99 on Amazon.com, and available at bookstores, libraries and schools around the world through IngramSpark.
In this debut of what is promised to be a series of Mac and Madi’s adventures, Linda Herron challenges the stereotypes associated with twins. As a twin herself, Herron knows all too well about growing up with the assumption that you and your twin are a carbon copy of one another. Featuring these everyday situations like birthday parties and school days throughout her book, Linda Herron highlights the importance of individuality in an unlikely relationship with identical twins. Rather than confining them to the traits that ensure they are identical in all aspects; she inspires twins to grow as individuals with confidence like all other siblings.
Author Linda Herron says, “May you embrace your likeness, learn how to grow as individuals, and love your journey as best friends!”
Mac & Madi’s Surprise: A Very Different Twins Birthday is an inspiring and educational story which is beautifully illustrated. The story will captivate readers on their best birthday bash ever – they’re doing things differently this year. Join Mac & Madi on their journey as they discover and share their differences and likeness.
The book has already attracted the likes of Dr. Barbara Klein Ph.D., an author, and psychologist who has done extensive research on the development of twin identity. Dr. Klein reviewed Herron’s book, “Finally, a book on twins and their friends and families that acknowledges differences as normal and celebrates unique aspects of each child’s identity.”
For additional information, contact info@lherron.com.
About Linda Herron: Born and raised in Rhode Island and she now resides in San Jose, CA. She enjoys sharing children stories about being an identical twin. Her latest book Mac and Madi’s Surprise: A Very Different Twins Birthday depicts an important message that Linda knows is easily relatable for children. When she isn’t writing Children’s Books she provides strategic consulting that transforms businesses by boosting profitability as the CEO of SimpliProfit. Her financial expertise has been mentioned in media outlets including American Express, Lending Tree and Daily Business News.
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: info@lherron.com
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Parenting Twins Is a Monumental Challenge
How Serious Is My Child’s Problem: Whose Problem Is It Anyway?
As the school year begins to put expectations and pressures on students, parents call me with concerns about their gifted son or daughter who seem to have not been able to make a strong start. The very first reaction I have to parents is, “Don’t over react --- try to find out what problem you are actually dealing with.”
For example, a frantic mother calls and says that her daughter is afraid to go to school. When she finally gets to school after intense stress and arguing, she sits in the corner and won’t play with anyone. This parent is concerned that her child is on the autistic spectrum.
Another mother calls and asks what she should do about bullying in the classroom and on the playground. This parent is concerned that home life has been filled with chaos and stress and that her son has developed poor self-esteem and allows other children to taunt him.
A dad calls. Yes, fathers are concerned about their children. His son is very fidgety in the classroom and cannot sit still and do his work. Dad asks, “Does my son have ADHD or is he in the wrong classroom?”
My answer to all of these parents is, “Look at the problem.”
Ask yourself : “What is causing my son or daughter’s unhappiness?”
Look at the possible causes:
1. The teacher is not a good fit for your child.
2. The school is a mismatch---too big, too small, too rigid, too free.
3. Family problems are dragging my child’s coping skills downward.
4. My child is on the autistic spectrum.
5. My child has the social issues of a gifted child.
6. My child has ADD.
7. My son or daughter has a learning disability.
Consider what you can do to make your child’s educational experience more positive by:
1. Not blaming yourself, your husband or your child.
2. Getting to know the help and support you can get from the teacher and school.
3. Asking for evaluations by pediatricians, psychologists and special education teachers.
4. Look for educational consultants who can help you find the right specialist.
When you understand the problem, make a plan that you will amend as necessary because flexibility is your friend when your child and family have problems.
What helps no matter what is going on that is off kilter?
Friends and affirmation from all involved are always important and help no matter what.