Barbara Klein, Ed.D.

    1.  Twins have been used as research subjects to prove that IQ and certain personality traits are inherited (genetic vs. environmental determinism / nature vs. nurture debate).
    2.  “Identical twins will have a very similar IQ score and fraternal twins will not be any closer intellectually than brothers or sisters.” These twin studies have been found to be invalid.
    3.  The twin attachment is primary, like the mother-child attachment, and is a profound determinant of personality.
    4.  Twin attachment as it grows and unravels is an untold story of closeness and conflict and loneliness.
    5.  Being a twin is not as ideal as myths and cultures suggest.
    6.  Being a twin has many moments of immediate understanding and long difficult struggles for a singular identity.
    7.  Outdated idealizations of twinship complicate and undermine twins who don’t get along.
    8.  Shame from onlookers who don’t understand fighting and estrangement make twin problems more intense and painful.
    9.  Parents are the designers of the twin relationship.
    10.  Twins are born married.
    11.  Twins enjoy and rely upon their closeness in childhood.
    12.  As twins separate and follow their own distinct paths, complications arise in their closeness and ability to get along.
    13.  Fighting and estrangement are common but seem to be a hush-hush topic that brings shame.
    14.  Onlookers see twins who do not get along as strange twins.
    15.  Keeping your twinship a secret to avoid criticism is very common.
    16.  Adult twins long for the closeness of childhood and suffer from fighting with each other.
    17.  Who is “right” and who is “wrong” in any argument or disagreement leads to intense fighting that is hard to resolve.
    18.  Resolution of twin estrangement always involves realistic acceptance of what is possible or impossible.