Barbara Klein, Ed.D.

ParentsConnect.com

ParentsConnect.com, an MTV/Nickelodeon venture, is looking to create a large number (upwards of 650) of Q&A boxes for the site on a huge variety of subjects within the following parenting topic areas: 1.Child health and development; 2. Raising good kids; 3. Pregnancy. Because of the large number of topics we'll be covering, please feel free to send multiple suggestions our way. We are currently gearing up to launch the next version of the site, in which we want to include a wide variety of expert advice and opinion. For that, we will need an equally wide variety of expert voices. Feel free to define "expert" as widely as possible. Interviews with selected subjects will be conducted by the end of November/beginning of December via phone or e-mail by a variety of ParentsConnect writers. The launch date for the site is March 30, 2007.

Question 1:  My two sons are in a gifted and talented magnet program. Lately I’ve noticed that they often talk about kids who aren’t in their G/T program as being “bad” kids who aren’t as smart as they are. What should I say? How can I help them understand that the “regular” classes have a diversity of kids – many of whom could be potential friends?

Answer:  First and foremost, you should teach your child and show by your example respect for other people’s uniqueness. Parents often think that talking about their child’s giftedness will feed into the child’s arrogance or sense of elitism. The opposite is true. You should talk to your child about what they think it means to be gifted and how they feel about being in special classes. You will be surprised to hear their reactions and they will be relieved to have parents that are concerned about their thoughts and feelings.


Q 2:  My daughter is always in trouble at school. I think it’s because she has a 145 IQ and is bored. The school wants me to talk to our doctor about medicating her – possibly for ADHD. What should I do?

Answer:  Boredom in gifted children is often a “cry for help” to parents and teachers. You need to gather more detailed information about your daughter’s problematic behavior. Ask for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) so you can better understand how the school environment is not meeting your child’s academic and social–emotional needs. Your child may need more challenge and more meaningful friendships. Behavioral interventions such as family counseling should always be given a long chance to resolve problem behavior. Medication should be considered as a last ditch effort.


Q 3:  My son always finishes his work faster than the other kids, and constantly complains about being bored. His teacher has bought some workbooks for gifted kids that he is supposed to work on at the back table in the classroom when he finishes early. I think this is a terrible idea, but need a better suggestion to take to the teacher. Do you have any advice?

Answer:  The most up to date educational research on meeting giften children’s needs for challenge indicates the use of a differentiated curriculum. Differentiated curriculum is more complicated and comprehensive than giving a child an extra workbook in the back of the classroom. Ask your child’s teacher if they have any experience with this innovative curriculum. Remember not to be bossy or insistent. Rather, you should try to work with your child’s teacher on developing realistic challenges.


Q 4:  My son is extremely bright – and has terrible social skills. He is 11 and has no friends. He doesn’t seem to care, and is always in his own little world. I want him to have a best friend (at least one!), but isn’t it too late to teach him how to be a friend? Should I worry?

Answer:  The social–emotional development of a gifted child can be very difficult and should be a primary concern for parents. Coaching your child in how to develop friendships is very useful and effective. Also, gifted children often do better if they have other gifted children to play with or adults who encourage their interests. Don’t leave your child’s socialization to chance. Set up social situations or excursions where your child has to interact with peers and adults.